Great Moments in Drug Smuggling

"Mexico's navy has seized more than a ton of cocaine stuffed inside frozen sharks, as drug gangs under military pressure go to greater lengths to conceal narcotics bound for the United States."

Frozen Sharks. They were literally smuggling over a TON of Mexico's finest inside FROZEN SHARKS. When I was a wee lad I would perform various cryogenics experiments, using slugs, various insects, worms, and whatever else was readily accessible in or around my backyard and would fit into the freezer. The only thing that ever really survived were the wasps, and I eventually figured out through trial and error that after about 15-20 mins in the freezer, I would end up with a formerly savage and ferocious yellow jacket at my complete and total mercy for approximately 5 minutes, after which it would groggily begin twitching and then take flight and try to stab me in the eye. Turns out wasps do not give a good god damn about science.I had an unlimited supply of subjects, as our back porch had a severe infestation. My experimentations included occasionally tying floss around the abdomens and holding the string as they slowly awoke to realize that they had become my little captives. Holding a piece of floss tied around an angry P.O.W. wasp set on kill with nothing to lose is a great way to spend an evening. I taught myself how to remove the stingers and incapacitate the jaw while the wasps were still unconscious, the final product being an adorable harmless, domesticated pet wasp. Turns out they make great pets and are excellent for traumatizing my brother. The relevance of all this to Encyclopedia Jones and the Case of the Mexican Frozen Shark Smugglers, is this hypothetical scenario. Say, these sharks had not been previously killed, and were instead sedated and hastily stuffed to the gills with excessive amounts of high grade narcotics and then flash frozen and loaded on the ship. Say the refrigeration unit failed, during a storm, or because of faulty wiring or whatever else. The Sharks start to thaw. They groggily awake and start flopping about a bit. Then, they realize that they have been packed with more cocaine then five peak era Motley Crue's combined. Fuck snakes on a plane, this is STRUNG THE FUCK OUT MEXICAN SHARKS ON A BOAT.