6.26.2009

Essential Viewing round 1

For one week only, Pitchfork is hosting the classic gg allin documentary "HATED", full and uncut. Click and watch. Enjoy.

Hated


If you have never seen it, or have never heard of GG, watch it now and thank me later. While on the topic of bad ass music documentaries, do yourself a favor and watch Heavy Metal Parking Lot, another classic shot entirely in the parking lot of a judas priest concert, circa 1986. 16 minutes worth of tailgating, shotgunning, shittalking, babes, metal, mayhem and spandex. Glorious.



Also, Danzig wants to tell you about his books-


Oh yeah, also this-


RIP strange one
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6.24.2009

Surfin USA

First ever rodeo on a surfboard. I suppose in this situation grabbing truckdriver is really your only option. Respect.

And a little older but still badass, surfboard kickflip


And sure, why not, a monster backflip on a jet ski. Happy summer.
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6.19.2009

Great Moments in Drug Smuggling

"Mexico's navy has seized more than a ton of cocaine stuffed inside frozen sharks, as drug gangs under military pressure go to greater lengths to conceal narcotics bound for the United States."

Frozen Sharks. They were literally smuggling over a TON of Mexico's finest inside FROZEN SHARKS. When I was a wee lad I would perform various cryogenics experiments, using slugs, various insects, worms, and whatever else was readily accessible in or around my backyard and would fit into the freezer. The only thing that ever really survived were the wasps, and I eventually figured out through trial and error that after about 15-20 mins in the freezer, I would end up with a formerly savage and ferocious yellow jacket at my complete and total mercy for approximately 5 minutes, after which it would groggily begin twitching and then take flight and try to stab me in the eye. Turns out wasps do not give a good god damn about science.I had an unlimited supply of subjects, as our back porch had a severe infestation. My experimentations included occasionally tying floss around the abdomens and holding the string as they slowly awoke to realize that they had become my little captives. Holding a piece of floss tied around an angry P.O.W. wasp set on kill with nothing to lose is a great way to spend an evening. I taught myself how to remove the stingers and incapacitate the jaw while the wasps were still unconscious, the final product being an adorable harmless, domesticated pet wasp. Turns out they make great pets and are excellent for traumatizing my brother. The relevance of all this to Encyclopedia Jones and the Case of the Mexican Frozen Shark Smugglers, is this hypothetical scenario. Say, these sharks had not been previously killed, and were instead sedated and hastily stuffed to the gills with excessive amounts of high grade narcotics and then flash frozen and loaded on the ship. Say the refrigeration unit failed, during a storm, or because of faulty wiring or whatever else. The Sharks start to thaw. They groggily awake and start flopping about a bit. Then, they realize that they have been packed with more cocaine then five peak era Motley Crue's combined. Fuck snakes on a plane, this is STRUNG THE FUCK OUT MEXICAN SHARKS ON A BOAT.
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vroom vroom

"...the H1 triple with its hellacious two-cycle power curve. This custom monster boasts 48-cylinders, six crankshafts and six Jaguar E-type distributors."



Counterpoint- Louie Barletta breaks down his sweet ride. From the dearly missed ON video magazine RIP
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6.18.2009

So hipster it hurts

I present the PBR Fixie.

(PS. Why is there not a bottle opener on that front piece? It seems like that would be the logical thing to do here.) And another...

Ahhh, Pabst Blue Ribbon. From the cradle

To the grave
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