If you have never seen it, or have never heard of GG, watch it now and thank me later. While on the topic of bad ass music documentaries, do yourself a favor and watch Heavy Metal Parking Lot, another classic shot entirely in the parking lot of a judas priest concert, circa 1986. 16 minutes worth of tailgating, shotgunning, shittalking, babes, metal, mayhem and spandex. Glorious.
Frozen Sharks. They were literally smuggling over a TON of Mexico's finest inside FROZEN SHARKS. When I was a wee lad I would perform various cryogenics experiments, using slugs, various insects, worms, and whatever else was readily accessible in or around my backyard and would fit into the freezer. The only thing that ever really survived were the wasps, and I eventually figured out through trial and error that after about 15-20 mins in the freezer, I would end up with a formerly savage and ferocious yellow jacket at my complete and total mercy for approximately 5 minutes, after which it would groggily begin twitching and then take flight and try to stab me in the eye. Turns out wasps do not give a good god damn about science.I had an unlimited supply of subjects, as our back porch had a severe infestation. My experimentations included occasionally tying floss around the abdomens and holding the string as they slowly awoke to realize that they had become my little captives. Holding a piece of floss tied around an angry P.O.W. wasp set on kill with nothing to lose is a great way to spend an evening. I taught myself how to remove the stingers and incapacitate the jaw while the wasps were still unconscious, the final product being an adorable harmless, domesticated pet wasp. Turns out they make great pets and are excellent for traumatizing my brother. The relevance of all this to Encyclopedia Jones and the Case of the Mexican Frozen Shark Smugglers, is this hypothetical scenario. Say, these sharks had not been previously killed, and were instead sedated and hastily stuffed to the gills with excessive amounts of high grade narcotics and then flash frozen and loaded on the ship. Say the refrigeration unit failed, during a storm, or because of faulty wiring or whatever else. The Sharks start to thaw. They groggily awake and start flopping about a bit. Then, they realize that they have been packed with more cocaine then five peak era Motley Crue's combined. Fuck snakes on a plane, this is STRUNG THE FUCK OUT MEXICAN SHARKS ON A BOAT.
Shred City is your first successful drop in on a mini ramp. It is the feeling of the stomp after nailing a back lip on a rail after eight heartbreaking attempts. It is a night of cheap whiskey and good stories with your crew around your kitchen table. It's skating mini until it's too dark to see and headbanging at a metal show even when there's only fifteen people there. It's PBR tallboys for two dollars a piece at the bar and early summer cliff jumping into freezing water. It's the fork holes in your leg you don't know how you got and the girl in your bed whose name you don't remember. It's a local skate art opening with free box wine and the success of distracting security while your friend gets the shot. It's the artistic inspiration you get from a freshly uncapped can of spray paint. It's a car full of your homies, blasting your favorite mixtape. When you are in these moments--the ones you live to create and remember, you are in Shred City--time slows, nothing else matters, and you're complete because of the experience. A new clothing brand from Burlington, Vermont that fits you in every epic moment of your life.